


all that really matters (is that i love you)

by wydoie (seojiya)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Romance, dowoo, kinda oblivious jungwoo—or not, more tags to be added ig, slowburn, this is probably going to be cliche as fuck but please bear with me, very very very little angst, whipped doyoung, you know just me spewing out fluffy shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26419753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seojiya/pseuds/wydoie
Summary: as the setting sun beamed rays of orange through the windows of the crowded cafe, all doyoung could think of is jungwoo—and how the sunset made him look even more beautiful than he already is.and if it isn't obvious yet, yes. doyoung is in love with his best friend.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Kim Jungwoo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello, everyone!!
> 
> before we start, i have some important things to say so please read on :)
> 
> ⁍ english is not my first language, so i'm sorry in advance for the possible grammar/spelling mistakes. :]  
> ⁍ i write in lowercase, so if you prefer properly typed fics, i am so sorry.  
> ⁍ this fic is very self-indulgent. doyoung and jungwoo are my faves from 127, they are also my favorite ship, and i just miss them so much i think this dowoo drought is going to kill me jk  
> ⁍ i've never written an nct fic before so this is making me really nervous lol i used to write exo fics (mainly chanbaek) before i ended up burning myself out. (if you write, please take breaks! burnouts are the worst.)  
> ⁍ this is a work of fiction, everything is just a product of my imagination.

it’s a saturday afternoon, and best friends doyoung and jungwoo are in the slightly busy university cafe, studying for an upcoming exam.

normally, they’d choose to stay at doyoung’s dorm because 1) it’s a great place for studying, very student-friendly and comfortable, 2) they don’t have to pay for anything since doyoung can just cook for them (he’s a really good cook, he just won’t admit it), and 3) jungwoo can take a power nap on doyoung’s comfortable bed anytime he wants.

unfortunately (but this is only applicable for this situation), doyoung’s brother just gave him a playstation 4 as an advance birthday present, and the two would definitely end up playing video games instead of studying if they’d chosen to stay at the dorm. so nope. they’re not letting themselves get distracted, especially now that they are in their senior year, going through the final term and barely even surviving.

the two are sitting on their usual spot by the window, books, print-outs, highlighters, and sticky notes all over the table.

doyoung’s been on his ipad for a while now, trying his best to absorb all the needed information from the 112 pages long readings for one of his minor subjects, sipping tea from his cup every once in a while and occasionally glancing up to check on jungwoo. on the other hand, there’s jungwoo who is a bit… distracted. he’s been trying to focus on the book he's reading, trying to understand and process the words, but something else is consuming his mind and it’s driving him nuts.

_“doyoung, am i ugly?”_

the question was so sudden, it catches doyoung off guard.

he tears his gaze away from the ipad screen to look at jungwoo, the latter’s brown hair messy, probably because he’d been running a hand through it over and over for the past hour.

doyoung finds the question ridiculous, honestly, because he’s never seen anyone as beautiful as jungwoo—and he’s never failed to remind him that.

“what are you saying?” doyoung says with a scoff, eyebrows furrowed. “of course not. _never_. why are you even asking me that?”

jungwoo lets out a dramatic sigh before finally closing the book he’s been ~~reading~~ trying to read for the past hour and a half, finally giving up. his brain doesn’t have the capacity to digest any of the information from the book, maybe from the exhaustion, but most probably because of his ugly thoughts.

it’s one of those days where jungwoo’s insecurities decide to resurface and eat him up. he’s not sure what exactly triggered it, but it all started last night after that nonchalant good night text he got from jaehyun (a guy from a different department whom jungwoo is _sort of_ dating).

“what’s wrong?” doyoung asks again when jungwoo doesn’t reply, obviously worried. “did something happen? you can tell me, you know.”

and yes, jungwoo knows. for some reason, doyoung is the only person in the entire world whom jungwoo’s very comfortable with. there’s just something about doyoung that makes him feel safe and welcomed, and it’s been there ever since the very beginning of their friendship, back in freshman year.

he trusts him so much, like… more than a hundred percent, and it never really scared him unlike how it is with other people.

he can tell him literally everything, from the most meaningless things to the really personal and important ones. and doyoung listens, _really listens_ without judgment. he would always ask jungwoo if he needs his advice first before saying anything, and whenever jungwoo says no, doyoung just gives him a gentle rub on the back and a small smile, sometimes a hug—which jungwoo finds very comforting.

“i feel like shit.” woo blurts out, frowning.

“because…?”

“because,” he pauses for a short while to take a deep breath before continuing. “i have a feeling that jaehyun’s going to dump me sooner or later. like… i can sense that it’s about to happen, though hopefully it doesn’t. i mean… i don’t know? the same thing happened with lucas last year, right? and that guy i briefly dated from months ago, yuta, i’m not sure if you remember him but he ghosted me too. it just makes me so sad whenever things don’t work out, especially because it happens a lot? i just feel like i’m doing something wrong, and it makes me think that maybe the problem is _me._ maybe i’m annoying, or clingy… or maybe i’m just ugly. worse, i'm all three. i just feel like it’s so easy for people to leave me then find someone new. it happens all the time and if ever it happens again, i’d probably start to think that i’m destined to be alone for the rest of my life."

initially, jungwoo wasn’t going to make it _that_ long, but he ended up pouring his heart out again (though it’s not exactly surprising at all, since he always ends up telling doyoung all his thoughts, unfiltered). and as usual, doyoung was nothing but attentive. 

"and _doie_ ," jungwoo speaks again after a moment, eyes meeting doyoung's sharp but still round eyes. "i’m really sorry you had to listen to this nonsense. it’s so petty, i know it is, but it’s just… i don’t know, it makes me sad and scared.”

jungwoo finishes with a sigh, and doyoung gives him small smile before pushing the glass of water towards his direction, gesturing for him to drink first. jungwoo does as he’s told.

“you don’t have to apologize for anything, woo. your feelings are valid. unfortunately, i don’t think i can give you any advice but do you wanna hear my thoughts about it? or…”

“of course, i do.” jungwoo answers right away. that little frown's already wiped away from his face, but he's not exactly smiling—at least not yet. “you know i really like hearing your perspective about stuff. i need to see things in a different light so i could sort my shit out.”

doyoung smiles at jungwoo’s words. he relaxes, leaning back on his chair, eyes still on the younger. 

to be honest, he’s not an expert in the love department. he’s only ever been in a relationship once in his twenty four years of existence, it only lasted for six months, it wasn’t really that serious—and that was two years ago. he’s not sure how his view on things would help jungwoo, but he tries, nonetheless.

“well, i won’t give you any advice or any kind of assurance that jaehyun won’t leave because it’s not supposed to come from me, i’m not him,” he says. “but if ever jaehyun dumps you, he’s stupid.”

“hey! don’t be mean to him.”

“what? i’m not being mean, i’m just telling the truth.” doyoung raises an eyebrow. “anyone who chooses to break your heart is stupid. they're assholes, and you don't deserve them. you deserve someone who _sees_ you. someone who won't run off just because you're not what they expected you to be. you’re a really nice person, _wooie_. you’re smart and funny, you’re very talented too. you’re very caring and considerate. you have your flaws, yeah, but that's completely normal. if they can't accept that, then fuck them. and i'd like to remind you about how stunning you actually look, what the fuck, go check yourself out on the mirror or something!”

jungwoo lets out a chuckle because of the last line, and doyoung laughs along too, completely ignoring the loud beating of his heart after practically confessing his _feelings_ to the boy. jungwoo didn't seem to notice the excessive amount of tenderness and affection behind doyoung's words, _he never did,_ and it's better like that. at least he wouldn't suspect a thing and doyoung can just continue pretending that his heart doesn’t do the flips whenever he thinks of the younger.

jungwoo's smile makes doyoung feel relieved. he thinks that woo probably feels better now—and jungwoo actually does feel better, all thanks to doyoung’s kind words and the validation he just gave him.

“i think you were being biased just now.” the younger jokes, his smile not faltering one bit. doyoung leans forward, elbow on the table, eyes never leaving jungwoo. he rests his chin on the palm of his hand before returning the smile.

“being honest is not being biased, woo.”

“you’re probably only saying that ‘cause i’m your best friend.”

_but jungwoo’s wrong_. because right at that moment, as the setting sun beamed rays of orange through the windows of the crowded cafe, all doyoung could think of is jungwoo—and how the sunset made him look even more beautiful than he already is.

and if it isn't obvious yet, _yes._ doyoung is _in love_ with his best friend.

"thanks for walking me." jungwoo tells doyoung once they've reached the station. it’s a little past 6 in the evening and it’s a bit chilly outside. jungwoo rubs his arm in attempt to warm himself a little. "and thanks for earlier. i'm feeling better now."

they left the cafe about an hour ago, and doyoung had asked jungwoo if he wanted to have dinner at his dorm. the younger wanted to, but had to decline since his mother is expecting him home for dinner. they decided to just walk around the city for a bit then, a quick detour, before they headed to the subway station.

"no problem." doyoung grins, reaching out to ruffle jungwoo's hair just like how he always does. "you know i got you always, right?"

"i know."

"alright, then. i'll see you on monday?" doyoung says, and jungwoo nods before pulling the former into a half bro hug. _huh._

"see you."

they pull way from each other after a moment, then doyoung starts walking backwards, hands on the pocket of his jeans. jungwoo rolls his eyes playfully, before taking his phone out to take a picture of doyoung trying to act cool. he waves at him right after, and doyoung does too, before finally turning around to walk properly.

once doyoung is out of sight, jungwoo checks the picture on his phone, smiling at the silliness of his best friend. he sighs before locking his phone, keeping it on his pocket before walking inside the station. jungwoo's heart feels lighter now—all thanks to doyoung who always seem to know what to say to calm him down and make him feel better.

jungwoo probably wouldn't know what to do if he hadn't met doyoung four years ago. wouldn't know what to do without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yey! first chapter posted :]]
> 
> i was actually supposed to post this fic once it's finished, but i couldn't wait any longer so i decided to just do it by chapters. sdjfkhsdf i'm a university student studying architecture, which means i would probably be very busy most days, but i'll do my best to update regularly :)
> 
> thank you!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my english sucks, i'm so sorry jkdshfjskdf  
> unbeta-ed. :D

before they became best friends, doyoung and jungwoo were just _roommates_.

it was a week before the official start of their freshman year when they first met.

doyoung originally wanted to live off-campus, maybe in a small studio not far from the university, but his parents insisted he try to live in the university dormitory first even just for a semester. _for experience,_ they had told him. he didn't want to, and only agreed on the condition that his older brother pay for his rent (until he graduates) once he moves out of the university dorm—which wasn't actually a problem on donghyun's side, since the older already had a stable and high-paying job, and he liked spoiling his younger brother, anyway. 

jungwoo, on the other hand, had just finished his mandatory military service that time. it was a bit early but he enlisted right after high school, at the age of eighteen, saying he'd rather get it over with while he's still young than do it while in uni or after. life definitely wasn't easy during the 21 months jungwoo was in the military, but he learned a lot, and he also used that time to think about a lot of things—like what he really wanted to do with his life and stuff like that. once he got back, he decided to start uni right away instead of going on a year-long break like what his mother had suggested, and decided to live on campus since it's much cheaper than the off-campus dormitories. he could've stayed home though—he wanted to—but it was a tough time. his parents were going through a divorce, and as much as jungwoo wanted to stay by his mom's side, he couldn't bear it. it was just too much for him to take in, and he needed to be alone, at least for a while.

when doyoung arrived at the dorm that afternoon, the then twenty-year-old jungwoo was already there, in the middle of unpacking his final box.

up to this day, doyoung still couldn’t forget jungwoo’s small, shy smile when he opened the door for him. the younger was wearing a plain black shirt and jogging pants, his soft hair parted in the middle, and doyoung could barely see his eyes because of his bangs. 

“you must be my roommate.” were jungwoo’s first words to doyoung before he invited the latter inside and helped him carry his boxes, that small smile never leaving his lips.

”i didn’t know you’d be here already,” doyoung said once he’s finally settled in. “i thought you’d be moving in during the weekend or something.”

“i hope you don’t mind i moved in early,” the younger said. “i originally planned to move in by friday... but there’s a lot of stuff going on at home so i decided to move early.”

”oh, is that so? i’m sorry. it’s okay. i don’t really mind. at least we can get to know each other as early as now.” doyoung returned the smile before realizing he hasn’t introduced himself properly yet. he extended a hand and the younger looked at it for a brief moment before lifting his head to look at the _then_ taller boy’s face. “i’m kim dongyoung, by the way. but you can just call me doyoung. i’m not sure who’s older, but i’m twenty one.”

“nice to meet you, doyoung _hyung._ i’m kim jungwoo.”

doyoung and jungwoo are on the same department, with different majors, but they shared most of their classes together. a month of living under the same roof and seeing each other on almost every class were enough for them to realize how contrasting their personalities are.

jungwoo and doyoung barely talked during the first month, since both were still busy adjusting to college life (and doyoung mostly stayed out of the dorms, attending parties here and there). doyoung found jungwoo very charming, and he liked that he's funny without even trying. at first, he seemed very confident and outgoing, and he sure looked like he knew what he was doing. he looked like the type of person who enjoyed parties and big crowds, but doyoung later learned that not all of his observations were true. _he was very wrong about the last part._

jungwoo's not only charming and funny, but he's also naturally smart and quick-witted. he smiles a lot, but he's not much of a talker. he was a very shy boy, and he preferred to keep to himself. he's the exact opposite of doyoung, who seemed to be a quiet, introverted guy at first but actually preferred being around people. he enjoys having alone time every once in a while, but he'd probably die without human interaction.

contrary to what doyoung had previously assumed, jungwoo seemed to hate parties—and he was able to confirm that when he asked jungwoo one time if he wanted to come along with him to a party organized by their seniors.

"i'm sorry, i'm not really a party person." jungwoo told him with a small smile. "have fun, though. i'll leave a bag of tea on your nightstand just in case you need it for later."

it was not until their third month in uni that doyoung and jungwoo became close friends. they were undeniably awkward around each other for the first two months, but on the third month, the two started to talk more. doyoung would always initiate a conversation whenever jungwoo didn’t seem busy (he didn't want to disturb and annoy him), telling him random stories, and if jungwoo’s being honest he actually enjoyed listening to them. sometimes, when jungwoo felt like it, he'd also share about his own experiences and stuff, and doyoung was always more than happy to listen to his stories. soon enough, the two started hanging out even during their vacant periods. after class, they'd usually meet by the main gate so they could drop by the small ramen house near their university for dinner before going back to the dorm.

jungwoo started to open up to doyoung more, telling him his thoughts and feelings, and the older always listened. doyoung's always the one to comfort jungwoo whenever he feels down, the one who takes care of him whenever he's sick, the one who assures him he'd be fine, that he’d never leave his side. he always made sure that jungwoo is smiling, that he's okay. he hated seeing him sad and crying. hated not seeing that bright smile of his.

for jungwoo, doyoung's like an older brother, _but that's not the case for the latter_.

jungwoo moved back home during the break before second year, and doyoung (who ended up living in the unversity dormitory for a whole year when the original plan was to stay there for only one semester) moved to a small studio off-campus, because what's the point of staying in the dorm if jungwoo isn't there?

they still saw each other a lot at school, they still shared some of their classes though they were fewer than the last time, and they still hungout all the time. jungwoo usually comes over at doyoung's for movie night during weekends, spending the night there. sometimes it's just the two of them, sometimes doyoung would invite johnny, too. but that's just because doyoung didn't want to make it obvious that he really liked having jungwoo around more than he should, soon realizing that he started developing _feelings_ for the younger.

it started out as a small crush. doyoung would always catch himself smiling whenever he's texting jungwoo, he'd always feel his heart racing whenever the younger's around, and he looked forward to movie nights because that means he'd be able to spend time with jungwoo.

and then jungwoo started going out on serious dates, and doyoung was certain his feelings were growing deeper. he would smile and encourage jungwoo to tell him more about how his dates went, and the younger would tell him, never really noticing the jealousy in doyoung's eyes.

it's not easy falling for your best friend, especially if it's crystal clear that they'd never ever like you back, so doyoung _tried_ to make his feelings go away.

he distanced himself a little, kept himself busy with uni stuff, parties, and other things, and then he met this girl—sejeong—and then started dating her. doyoung knows how wrong it was to use someone else to forget, but he was desperate. jungwoo was surprised when he found out, but he was very supportive of the relationship, doyoung wanted to scream and smash his head against the wall or something. doyoung and sejeong dated for about six months, but they stopped seeing each other eventually _just because_. doyoung never really forgot about his feelings for jungwoo, and if anything, it only grew deeper.

doyoung was very supportive when jungwoo and lucas got together during their third year in uni. it was kind of sad, because jungwoo was spending more time with his boyfriend (of course), and doyoung was stuck with johnny for movie nights. jungwoo looked genuinely happy though, and as cheesy as it sounds, just seeing the younger happy was enough to make doyoung happy.

so when a crying jungwoo knocked on his door one night because apparently, lucas has broken up with him for no reason at all, doyoung was furious. he wanted to drive to lucas' and punch his face for breaking jungwoo's heart, but the latter did his best to calm him down, telling him that he's okay (even though he cried with his head on doyoung's lap the whole night).

it took jungwoo a while to get over lucas, and doyoung did his best to keep jungwoo distracted, until he just stopped thinking about him. but then jungwoo met yuta months later, and then the same thing happened again, though they were never officially together. jungwoo started to (sort of) play around after that, not really wanting to get into a serious relationship.

"why are you even dating these guys if you don't want to commit?" doyoung had asked him one time.

" _i'm just trying to make you jealous_." he joked, making doyoung's heartbeat 10x quicker. he laughed after seeing doyoung's flushed expression, shaking his head a little. "of course, i was joking. i don't think i'd have plenty of time to date once i'm working so i'll just do it now while i still can. i want to enjoy my youth or something."

right. of course, jungwoo doesn't feel the same way, and he probably never will. doyoung already accepted the fact that his feelings will never be reciprocated,

_and that's okay._

doyoung switches the lights on with an audible sigh, plopping down on his bed as soon as he got back to his dorm.

his head hurts from all the studying, but it's fine, because at least he got to spend time with jungwoo again.

_jungwoo._

he cannot stop thinking about the conversation he had with the younger at the cafe earlier. his words were filled with fear... fear of getting his heart broken again, fear of not having the assurance he needs. it seems like jungwoo have _fallen_ for jaehyun already. he was like this with lucas and yuta before, too. he was never like this with anyone else who came after the two. it wouldn't be such a big deal for jungwoo if he was still only playing around—jaehyun could leave and jungwoo would probably just roll his eyes and say _his loss, not mine._ but doyoung saw the sadness in jungwoo's eyes, heard the fear in his voice, and doyoung would be lying if he says his heart doesn't feel like it's slowly breaking.

he sits up with a loud groan before taking his phone out of his pocket to send jungwoo a text.

_jungwoo, i have something i wanna tell y|_

_wooie, i like you|  
_

_i know you'd never feel the same, but i just want to tell you that i really lik|_

_do you like jaehyun?|_

_if he's the right person, you'll know. :) try to stop overthinking, okay? if you can't though, you know you can always talk to me about it. thanks for today, woo. text me when you get home, alright?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't really intend for this fic to be a ~little~ angsty :D  
> this is probably going to be at least five chapters long, and i hope you guys stick with me until the very end :)
> 
> to those who left a kudos, thank you so much :')


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